Losing arguments sucks.
My wife has figured out how to never lose an argument. I suspect that this is a female trick, taught shortly after language acquisition by the Mothers-Of-Mankind Societies. MOMS know the secret, and they never share it with the men. But my wife is truly devoted to my well-being and personal development, so, risking her status with the MOMS of the world, she has let me in on one of their biggest secrets.
Men, when we argue, want to be right. We want to hear our opponent admit defeat. We can’t really help it, our Boyhood/Adolescent Language Leveraging System won’t let us. When it comes to getting people out of our way or taking over a situation with authority, our BALLS help quite a bit — but there is nothing that gets in the way of accepting our failures more than the ponderous BALLS we’re strapped with. But my wife showed me The Way of the MOMS: she doesn’t care if she’s right or not.
It’s that simple. The male Dialectical Intellect Coherence Key, a deeply-rooted module in the male brain, prevents the right-wrong dichotomy from being easily discarded by the male brain, but she and I agree that if I can overcome the autonomous programming that my DICK and BALLS use to guide my language, I can start each argument with the same goal she has: establishing communication.
That really is the secret. The MOMS ways of arguing revolve entirely around communicating perspective, which has no truth value associated with it. The DICK-and-BALLS way of arguing is fact-based, and as such can generally have its truth value assessed by someone with the right tool. But up against someone trained by their MOMS, failure is inevitable, because MOMS-trainees are not impressed by truth — they only want to make sure that everyone understands what each other person is thinking and why.
The kicker here is that the DICK-and-BALLS style of debater will examine that goal and discard it as useless out-of-hand. The thought is that if you are correct, the other person’s thinking is either A) incorrect or B) they agree with you. Either result ends in a victory. But the argument the MOMS invoke is that if you all understand one another, the correct result can be arrived at without the need for an argument in the first place. This is known as Verifiability-Apathetic Genuine-Interest Negotiative Action, and I tell you from experience — VAGINA is the perfect tool for MOMS. It foils DICK and BALLS every time.
