My wife is a kitchen ninja.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know by now that I’m fat, my wife is fat, and we’re trying to fix that with a low-carb diet. My wife has lost 60 pounds despite being pregnant, and I…haven’t. I blame the chocolate. (Just kidding, I only eat good chocolate, and only in moderate amounts. Really, I blame the corn starch and sugar I put in my Chinese sauces, and the cane juice in my Trio(TM) bars, and the strange diet my mother was on while I was in the womb. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you, Mom.)

Regardless, my wife has managed to come up with some dishes since we started this diet that we would never have eaten without ditching the carbs and concentrating on the good stuff. The other day, we brought a Northern Italian dish (did I mention my wife is half Italian?) to a friend’s house, and we wowed them with it, even though I screwed it up. I figured I’d share it with all y’all.

Chicken Saltimbocca, Maj Style

4 chicken breasts, sliced lengthwise into 2 fillets each
fontina cheese, sliced
prosciutto, sliced
raw milk (minimal)
unbleached flour (minimal)
butter
dry white wine (lots; at least a cup)
raw cream (match the wine)

It’s simple: you wrap the prosciutto around the cheese, then you wrap the chicken fillets around the prosciutto. Use toothpicks to hold it all together if need be. Then, dip the wrap into milk, then roll it lightly in flour, then put it into a buttered flat pan on Medium for about 20 minutes. Flip, 20 more minutes.

Remove and set the meat aside. Some (most) of the flour will come off in this process, that’s desirable. The important part is that it tenderizes the chicken, then falls off to thicken the sauce we’re about to make. Once the meat is out, add half of your wine and crank it up to High. Once the wine boils halfway down, add the rest of the wine, your cream, and put the chicken back in. Turn it down to Medium and let simmer for 5 minutes with the top off, then 10 with the top on (which will boil the alchohol off, but finish cooking the chicken).

Serve with asparagus, green beans, or some other crunchy, flavorful vegetable.